Letter to a Legend

Dear Duncan,

I wish I’d got to know you better, before that terrible disease stole you from us.  I wish I could have sat with you under our beautiful Andalucian sky, laughing as you recounted stories of Scott’s childhood that I’d have cheekily pressed you to tell.  I wish I could have watched, with love in my eyes, father and son shout loudly from the terraces of your beloved Norwich City and his beloved Malaga.  I so wish you had been proudly by Janette’s side at our wedding to witness Scott and I exchange our vows.  I’d have told you on that most beautiful of days that if I could be half the devoted wife to him that Janette has been to you, our happiness would still be guaranteed.  

Whilst I wish I’d had the chance to get to know you better, is it possible I do know a little of the man you were?  When I look at Scott do I somehow know you?  Is it true that I see much of you remains alive in him? 

Did your eyebrows twitch skywards when you said something funny or cheeky, and did your eyes screw up cutely when you laughed?  Did you always show concern for others before you thought about yourself?  Had a windfall lottery come your way would you have sought to improve the fortunes of others before taking anything for yourself?  Did your mood always shine like the sun and never turn grey like the rain?  Did you bring life, soul and laughter to every room you walked into? Could you not pass a stranger by without showing them your warm smile and greeting them with a kind word?  Could your friends play a joke on you because you'd take it on those broad shoulders and with a smile?  Did you always see the good in people and never the bad?  

Tell me, dear Duncan, was this you?  It must be so, because all of this I see in the husband I adore.  I look at pictures of you and see your characterful expressions mirrored on his face too.  I hear him quote your rules on life almost daily.  I don’t need him to tell me that you were his hero, and the one person by whom he measures himself.   Somehow, when I look at him, I feel that I've not been entirely robbed of knowing you.

A voice so loud, they’d swear you could be heard in the next County. I know someone else whose voice booms just as yours did. 

I do know Scott would be humbled to be compared to the father he loved so much, just as I suspect you would be humbled by all the tributes you so richly deserve. That self-effacing quality is part of him, as it must have been part of you.

I will miss the moments that I shall never get to share with you, the things I shall never get to tell you, and I regret not being given the chance to be the daughter-in-law I hope you’d have come to love.

You were so many things to so many people: “Big Dunc”, a class act, a legend, a footballing icon, a larger-than-life character, a friend.  But most importantly you were a much-loved Husband, Father and Grandfather to the family you prized above any trophy you held aloft.  

With a heart so big, a presence so felt, we know that you will never be far away.  May your spirit always be with us, your words of advice always be heeded, and your laughter always heard.

God bless.

From your daughter-in-law with love

Fried Eggs and Garlic

We've discovered a new way to enjoy breakfast here in sunny Andalucia: a loaded plate of fried eggs, swimming in extra virgin olive oil, sprinkled with a copious amount of garlic and served with a slab of fresh bread for dipping in your yolk and mopping up leftovers. It beats the healthy fruit-loaded muesli that we caution ourselves with from Monday to Friday and it's just the ticket for fueling up in preparation for a weekend of pottering around the finca. We introduced our summer guests to a plate of this new favourite and also took it across 'the pond' where we holidayed with our American friends in September. The responses ranged from lukewarm, or "I'd rather just have toast!" to fully adopted with a few spicy embellishments.

Summer has been a long hard slog. Half way through October and we're only just beginning to see the temperatures drop from the low 30s (degrees C).  During the worst of the onslaught of the sun's rays we managed to pack quite a bit in before lethargy sent us shuffling to the bedroom to snooze away the hottest hours under the ceiling fan.  In between times, the veggie plot was toiled and weeded. The heat made for very hard work especially when temperatures at one point 'maxed out' at a merciless 47 degrees in the shade for seven days. Our tomato plants took quite a roasting but still managed to produce a relatively handsome crop under the nurturing care of the green-fingered Mr Forbes. Our onions also fared well and we're still working our way through a bumper crop of those. At the other end of the scale, we enjoyed just one floret of late season broccoli before the rest of the plants surrendered and withered to a dehydrated heap. The gradual changing climate has brought with it a certain amount of head scratching over when to plant our autumn seedlings. We can no longer rely entirely on what it says on the little packets but must watch the weather forecast for predictions on when it will warm up or cool down.  Summer crops over, our beds lie in wait for their winter planting once again. With a bit of luck, we can start the cycle again at the end of October.

Sadly, we didn't attract any bees to our new hive this year, despite all our efforts.  We'll need to rethink and perhaps re-site the hive to a more secluded spot and hope for better success next Spring. With the bee population in such decline, we want to do our bit to preserve this precious species.

Apricots from Brian's memorial tree cropped heavily this year.
They gave us a cupboard full of jam as well as a freezer full of crumbles.

Let's make some onion marmalade!

Who knew onion flowers could be so pretty?

The first of many tomatoes at end May

The ongoing garden decluttering should have meant consigning the endless pile of leftovers from plumbing jobs to the local dump. But instead these piles of rubbish, that Mr Forbes would prefer to call valuable scrap and useful spares 😏, must take precedence over, say, the storage of bikes for instance and why not?!  And, so, we bought another shiny new shed so that the bikes would have a cozy place to live while their neighbours moved in across the garden!  Despite the feeling that I'm helping to facilitate the migration of scrap metal and old boilers from garden to shed, I'm encouraged that we're making some headway with the tidying and all our sheds are beginning to look a lot more organised. Small victory but you have to start somewhere when you're married to a plumber who's been set in his ways for so many years!

The new bike shed, locally crafted. I'm sure there's plenty of space
for another one somewhere.

While the battle to convert "Steptoe's Yard" to a garden continues,
another battle is won and the van gets a tidy up (only because it needed 
emptying for its first MOT!)

Our first summer visitors (and lukewarm recipients of the fried eggs and garlic) were my mum and my eldest sister at end June/early July. Luckily, they escaped the worst of the summer temperature took hold and it remained in the low 30s pretty much the whole two weeks of their visit. We spent the majority of the time sitting by the pool or on the terrace and eating plenty of good food and (of course!) chatting endlessly!  Daniel also flew over for a long weekend to attend a friend's wedding, so we had a house full for a while.
 

                  

All dressed up and ready for a little BBQ gathering for Helen's upcoming 60th birthday.

The gang come over to help with the celebration.

Scott's mum was the second visitor to be offered the egg breakfast, but she politely declined in favour of toast!

The delightful and original Mrs Forbes with her lovely son!

Shortly after mum (Janette) returned home, we packed and headed off for our big holiday of the year; to the USA. Our trip was essentially about visiting my friends of more than 20 years, John and Nancy, and to join them at their holiday beach house rental in Ocean City New Jersey. John and Nancy made it to our wedding last year with much difficulty due to health problems so it was on the cards for us to return the visit and this one was several months in the planning.  First on the itinerary was a stop over in New York's Manhattan. A great deal has changed in the 21 years since I was last there, the events of  9/11 being perhaps the most significant. I wanted Scott to experience more than Manhattan's main sights though so my search for a sporting event resulted in an unforgettable evening in Queens' Citifield Stadium to watch the New York METs take on the Los Angeles Dodgers in a thrilling game of baseball. At the end of our holiday, we returned to New York to see Wicked on Broadway and take a ride up to the Top of the Rock (Rockefeller Building) to gaze upon Manhattan's city lights at night. A surprise for Scott's birthday was a luxury chauffeur-driven SUV from JFK to our hotel and then back at the end of our stay.

A Cadillac "Black Escalade": We arrive and depart Manhattan in chauffeur driven celebrity style!

One of the memorial fountains at the 9/11 Memorial Site. A calm and serene place in the middle of Manhattan's noise and chaos.  In the underground museum below, the outer walls of the fountain memorials are exposed and shaped to reveal the actual foundations of the original twin towers. An incredibly moving experience.

The Chrysler Building and The Empire State, two of Manhattan's most famous landmarks

Two views of NYC: Street level and from the top of the Empire State

No trip to New York should be without a ferry ride to the Statue of Liberty

A New Yorker's view (If you're a METs fan that is!)

Does the NYPD fleet really look this small from the top of the city's skycrapers? 
Nope, they really are this small!

Top of the Rock: The Rockefeller Building, an Art Deco masterpiece 

"Romancing the City" at Top of the Rock

Times Square at Night

Our time in New Jersey was a very welcome break from Manhattan and we spent it simply unwinding, soaking up the glorious autumn sun on one of America's best beaches, biking, and enjoying John and Nancy's hospitality and great company. As always with these things those 10 days simply flew by and we were heading back to New York all too soon ahead of our long trip home. 

Our beach house for 10 days. Luxury "New England" style living

The boys bond over a game of American Football.
As well as becoming a firm New York METs fan, Scott is now also a
confirmed Philadelphia Eagles fan. (He might just be the only person
who can spread his allegiance over two states?!)

My buddy Nancy and me. I bloody love her!

Ocean City Living: These beachfront houses will set you back a few million USD!

Ocean City Beach Bums!

Photo call on the boardwalk

The boys wait patiently while Nancy and I shop

Biking on the boardwalk: Our daily exercise

Out for the best Mexican meal we've eaten since Mexico!
(I love this photo of us)

Scott gets a real treat for his birthday: A trip out on the restored oyster schooner "A.J. Meerwald"

followed by a night out at the casinos in Atlantic City 

We take a ride out to John and Nancy's beautiful home in Hammonton

Too soon our holiday is over and we say our farewells for now
See you both in Marrakech in March 2020!

Back to reality now and so is our routine. As the weather cools, we can turn our attention to all the autumn jobs that need doing around the house and garden. We love this time of year and there's plenty to do, as always.  Bye for now!

I like this pool thermometer a lot! I think I'll keep him! 😍 💋

I'm Going "Off Piste" To Kick The Bad Fairy's Butt !

 

 

Mowing season is almost coming to an end. It's getting warmer and the grass-come-weed carpet that is covering the meadow and orchard is beginning to retreat, shrivelled and scorched, into its dry earthy bed where it will remain until the rainy season returns.  I'll need to find some useful calorie burning pursuit to replace it with however since I've reason to keep that high up my on agenda.

It's good to mow: I find myself meditating over all sorts of stuff.  Today though, and while on the subject of  "shrivelled and scorched" I find myself thinking about the creeping inevitability of reaching menopause! My GP says I'm reaching it, whatever the heck that really means!  I've been thinking about how good a workout mowing is and one to add to the growing list things that I'm tormenting my aging body with in an effort to fight back against the ticking clock.  I'm halfway through the mowing right now but have taken a break for a cup of ginger tea and a custard cream biscuit; the latter is probably not the best idea when you're trying ever so hard to eat right.  But, I need this break because I've just discovered one of the mower wheels is jammed and won't turn so no bloody wonder I've been ploughing on cross-eyed and with a gritty-toothed grimace on my face for the last couple of hours. I'm a sweaty, red-faced mess so I'm going to eat this bloody custard cream while I recover my composure enough to finish the last quarter-acre! 

Yep, bloody menopause!  She's like the bad fairy, sneaking up on you when you're not looking to pinch some other part of your previously well guarded womanhood.  I'm pretty damn certain she attacks at night too!  You know it don't you girls?  Waking up one morning to notice she's pinched some part of your mobility and you can no longer rise gracefully from your bed and float to the bathroom.  Nope, you now have to stretch those legs out until your bloody knees unlock and then rotate your ankles to loosen the stiffness that crept in overnight in those too!  Then, after you've hobbled to the bathroom holding your lower back and waited for your eyes to focus on the mirror in front of you, you find yourself examining something else that's taken a hike along with your ease of mobility.  And off she goes, this bad fairy is scuttling away clutching yet another younger part of you, chuckling wickedly as you're left to cry out: "where the ruddy heck did THAT sag come from and who the bloody hell stole my legs?!"   I don't want to inflict my legs on any innocent bystanders this summer but that's a bit of a problem when you're living in a flipping hot country like this.  She's not only bad, this menopause fairy, she's a bitch quite frankly.  Nobody warned me she was on her way but I should have known she'd be calling round at some point after I hit my mid-century. 

Don't get me wrong, I fully appreciate that growing old is a privilege. I'm going to learn to cope with everything and anything life is to throw at me while I journey through this "coming of midlife" and I shall do my level best not to make a crisis out of it either. 

So here's my advice (such as I've learned thus far): If you're not there yet, make the absolute most your beautiful body, whatever shape it is.  And if you are there, make the absolute most of the your beautiful body, whatever shape it is!  It's the same as it always was, it's just now you'll have to work a bit harder at it!  I'll share some stuff with you if you're not really sure how to start figuring all this shit out yet. 

Firstly, find yourself an inspiring alpha female or two.  I'm in love with Knee Deep In Life on Facebook, check her out.  She may not be menopausal yet but by golly is she one brave lady who frankly doesn't give a rats bum.  She's here to tell you you're beautiful whatever shape you are.  There are other amazing women out there though who have been where you and I are right now and have some encouraging news to share.  I'll just say at this point that you are already one of those amazing and inspiring women, you've just got to believe in yourself.

Get healthy!  Well, that's obvious right?  We know women in menopause are at high risk of all those nasty things like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and certain cancers simply because of the reduction in all those hormones that once protected us from all that.  GetHealthyU is an information hub that I've found invaluable. I've not joined their community yet as I don't feel the need.  You might though, it's up to you.

Get fit!  Der, also obvious right?  OK, but it's about learning what you need to do to shift that redistribution of fat that's hanging around your arms, belly, hips and thighs.  Dare I mention cellulite at this point? Well, yes (unless you're in the lucky 15% that is!).  It's like this ladies: you need cardio and strength training and you probably need to do a little of each on a daily basis.  Mix it up.  If you're already in to HIIT, good on you because that'll be doing you a power of good. I'm not as yet but I won't rule it out.  Right now my weekly routine is a mix of swimming, walking and cycling for cardio, and weight bearing exercises and yoga for strength training.  I'm not talking about getting down the gym and working out with dumbbells either. Pick up that litre bottle of water and do some lifts or do some leg squats while your morning porridge is in the microwave!  If you've got exercise bands, use them.  I've just joined a Pound Fit class and recommend it but I've done Zumba as well.  Both are great so check out a class near you.

Flipping50 (great name) is a YouTube channel full of workouts and fitness and diet advice especially for us mature sorts.  She also has a website and a facebook page.  I came across this while researching into the use of foam rolling. If you don't have a foam roller, invest in one of these babies (they're not expensive).  You need to work on that layer of facia ladies if you want to see a reduction in cellulite.  I'll warn you that it'll hurt like f&$k but no pain, no gain!

Do yoga!  I highly recommend you add this to your fitness regime.  You don't have to be good at it either.  Work at your own level.  Yoga will enhance your posture and your body shape.  Better posture will burn fat faster, remember that!  Yoga with Adriene will guide you carefully through your chosen level and there's loads of routines without having to take up her membership.  You'll be back to rising gracefully out of bed in no time.

Do all this stuff and you might just alleviate all those nasty things like hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings because I'm either incredibly lucky not to be getting them (yet?!) or I'm keeping them all at bay by doing it.

So here's some DO's and DON'Ts: DO work on yourself but DON'T be hard on yourself.  DO love yourself and DON'T wish you were like that stick thin model you see in  the magazines (she's been photoshopped in all probability anyhow). 

And, not like you really need to know this: There's a damn certain off the scale probability that your husband/boyfriend/partner loves the way you look. DO believe it when they tell you they love you and your body and DON'T let that crazy head of yours lull you into thinking otherwise.  I'm married to my own Mr Gorgeous who makes me feel amazing.  OK, he also tells me that I'll never be THAT toned again.  I wanted to thump him for that but it did at least make me realise how much I love a challenge and I'll thank him for saying it all day long!

If you want to share a pearl of your own wisdom with the rest of us please do because I know I haven't covered it all by any means. 

Now go rock it, you're fabulous!

You can have any colour, just so long as it's white!

It's been ages since my last blog, not that anyone will have noticed.  We've seen Christmas, New Year (when we were burgled which was a crappy affair), made trips home and abroad and passed through a significant season or two in gardening terms. Our tomatoes have long gone (as have nearly all the chutneys made from them), and we've nearly eaten our way through the crop of scrummy winter vegetables.  Gone too are last year's jams and marmalades but our blossoming trees are full of promise of peaches, apricots, nectarines and plums to come.

This busy time has been predominated by the redecorating which I'd only just started last September. I suppose this largely makes up for my lengthy absence from blogging. Since then, I've been knee deep in furnishing fabrics and white paint. The house isn't entirely white, there's a splash of colour here and there to avoid glare! I've a few finishing touches to see to which naturally will include a little bit of accessory shopping, then it's all done. Mr Forbes has been quiet and generous throughout the process; simply validating verbally all my gentle persuasions of "trust me darling"!

A montage of decorating : the 'piece de la resistance', the new upholstered sofa, my first!

There's been a steep learning curve during this decorating journey, namely; reupholstering techniques, updating of old tired doors, and assembling IKEA furniture without cursing!  I can't wait to see what our returning visitors will make of the changes. A Spanish friend recently remarked that I have "manos de oro" (hands of gold) which I guess is a local colloquialism said of one possessing a creative talent.  Whatever, I shall take it as a huge compliment.

Fudge is not particularly subtle when it comes to demanding I put my sewing down for a cuddle!

I won't have time to sit back and wonder how to occupy my time after the house is finished because, apart from all the maintenance that a place this big demands, there are oranges to mow over, a ton of weeds to pull up and a new delivery of gravel to help spread!

Some oranges saved from the mower.

I figure I'd better make the rest of his update as mercifully brief as possible, so the last few months are crammed in below in picture book form.  Be thankful that you've been spared my rambling ... until next time that is!  See you soon. 💚

 A selection of festive baking triumphs. Well, the kids were coming for Christmas!

New Year's Eve outfits. It should have been a great night with friends but a burglary in progress spoiled that!  Our home security has since been upgraded.

Our knees in Portugal, and a surprise visit to my Mum who was staying with friends. 

            

                                     

A visit to see family in Norwich (and the chance to watch Duncan's old club Norwich beat Milwall)

                       

       

Away trip to Tenerife to watch our home team play (the Guiri Bus was an experience!).

... quickly followed by Valentine's in Edinburgh (where we looked up the ancestors and continued our clan wars! 😂

Our beehive is ready!  We eagerly await the arrival of our first colony. F3H honey will be worth the wait!

Our winter crop of vegetables just keeps coming, thanks to the green-fingered Mr Forbes

Not forgetting the rest of the garden

Mr Forbes is quite the accomplished cook .. when he's not tending his veggie patch ... or pretending that he was happy with my insistence to tidy his man drawer!

Let the battle against menopause begin! Yoga in the sun and a weekly 3km swim should help for starters. (I remain hopelessly optimistic!)

The occasional ride out in the skip, er I mean the Forbes company vehicle.